Chicken Licken and Foxy Knoxy
Hopefully this pic will make you read this blog
Like many people I was stunned by the verdict finding Amanda Knox guilty. It goes against what most sane people agree is the essence of justice which is that you’re innocent until proven ugly. What’s wrong with this Third World Italian legal system?! Well, I can tell you – a central plank of Italian law is the “legge della ricreazione” (“law of the playground”), whereby you’re allowed to be horrible to girls you fancy. That’s the only possible explanation.That extra year in the sentence which has confused many commentators – 26 instead of the 25 for her ex-boyfriend (note, lads, it’s “ex-boyfriend”, she’s still available) – is what’s known in Italian law as “tirare i capelli”, (“pulling her hair”) – a standard element of the law of getting back at girls you quite like.
We shouldn’t have been surprised that Amanda (and lets call her Amanda) got sent down to a chorus of “good luck with the lesbian inmates” jokes. Luckily for her, she’ll most likely be freed on appeal using Berlusconi’s new too-hot-to-rot-(in-jail) law, although according to the strict letter of Italian law, the only way she could have gotten away with it is if she’d been prime minister. I suspect, however, that much of the outcry in this case is because we like our murderers and paedophiles to look like monsters, something which, in this country, we tend to achieve quite well. Rose West is clearly a monster, it doesn’t surprise us she’s evil, but a hot chick like Knoxy? Surely not…
Another pic to keep you reading
Not only that but this hot chick was allegedly (I know I don’t have to say that now, but it hurts not to), allegedly involved in a sex crime. Yes, it ended horribly, brutally (and this is a terrible crime, I don’t mean to offend. Just bear with me for the sake of biting satire), but basically, deep down, it still allows us to think of Amanda Knox sexually. Amanda Knox having sex. If Susan Boyle had committed this crime we wouldn’t be so interested, but no, it’s the Fox. That’s the hidden whisper going on all the time: she’s sexual, fellas. Dodgy sex, taboo sex. She’s not only hot, she’s dirty. Hey, newspapers, please tell us more about her loose morals, we want to know!…
No? Just me?
Well, me and Freud.
Ultimately, in this meedja world, as any politician will tell you – it’s all about how photogenic you are. Even as a victim. In this country we have a law of column-inches which seems to hint that it’s a greater crime to kill an attractive person like Rachel Nickel. It’s worse to abduct someone like Maddy than Shannon Matthews whose mum and stepuncle (what the hell is that?) just weren’t hot like Maddy’s and who ended up having abducted her themselves and going to jail which is exactly what we thought felt right all along. I mean, just look at them!
Sexy Gordon Brown knows that looks are everything
Of course, it’s more complicated than that. Kate McCann suffered a backlash because she was perceived to be a bit cold. She was the attractive girl who didn’t really talk to us and therefore, according to the “legge della ricreazione”, we were allowed to pull her hair. But there’s no doubt that looks play a huge part in the judgements we make, in who we really feel sorry for. Amanda Knox – I find you guilty on the charges of being attractive.
Oh yeah, and her ex-boyfriend did some bad stuff too. What was his name again?
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It’s as if you are channeling Lord Denning
I honestly thought she was gonna get cleared. How can kids be still getting caught murdering folk when 90% of them have seen at least two seasons of CSI. The ginger guy with the belt hole eyes is giving you life values here people.
Don’t you mean “innocent until proven ugly”?
Gordo is the master of hot.
To be honest, I know this aint comedy, but I’m pretty sure if the victim had been American, and the alleged killer was British, then UK and USA views would be somewhat (completely) reversed.
I’m just saying..
Your last short paragraph says it all.
Aren’t almost-impossibly-hot female criminals a staple of noir fiction and heist movies?
Thank goodness Amanda has seized back the intellect’s right to conceive of criminal activity as somehow beautiful and glamorous, and not humdrum and seedy.
Thanks, Amanda.
Thanks Mr or Ms McWeird. Now changed…
That picture made me read this blog. I was disappointed though, was hoping for images of girls in naked blood wrestling.
I know what you mean David, but I can think of more important things to get worked up about.
Kate McCann didn’t suffer a backlash because she was “a bit cold” – she refused to answer 48 questions when interviewed by the police, refused to go back for a reconstruction (her & her friends’ timeline would have looked to silly to re-enact) and the cadaver dogs implicated the parents by only alerting to cadaver odour in their flat and car (and none of the other 30 flats or 10 cars searched)
To my mind there’s more evidence of a death in the flat than of an abductor who left no finger prints, no trace of entry or exit and no further abductions.
As always Mr Schneider, very clever. I must disagree slightly with your verdict and point out that if darling Miss Knox did not, in fact, kill Miss Kercher then she damn well knows who did. She was there!! No idea about the extra year on her sentence – maybe her cartwheels in the polizia stationi were crap.
for the poster above. Did you not read the actualy post and comments? I cannot see how you came to that conclusion