2009: 4 pictures and a joke (or two)
Michael Jackson was claimed by the Grim Reaper who, ironically, has a skin disease that's turned him white.
2009. Here are some of the jokes…
Well, finally, like the song said, it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white (RIP). Obama became president and duly won the Nobel Peace prize (though the ceremony was interrupted by Kanye West who felt it should have gone to Beyonce) and we saw the passing of one of pop’s greatest ever acts. But enough about Jedward (well, more later).
I remember exactly where I was when Michael Jackson died. On Twitter. No feat of memory there as it’s pretty much where I was for most of the year. I was caught, as was often the case for me, in the Hadron collision between sadness/sympathy and the inevitable urge to make jokes about new releases such as “6 foot under the Earth Song”. How I admired fearless tweeters such as Daniel Maier who was straight in there with “Dead Man Moonwalking” and Peter Serafinowicz who immediately quipped that MJ would honour his 02 gigs but as the zombie from Thriller.
It was also the year when all you needed to know about the UK was that there are 2 Browns: Derren and Gordon – one gets everything right, the other gets everything wrong. MPs expenses was a disaster (though isn’t “cleaning the moat” a Tory euphemism for sex?) and policy after policy failed to turn it round for Gordon: his attempt to reassure us that the army in Afghanistan was well-equipped by announcing 10,000 new shields and crossbows convinced nobody.
The summer transfer activity didn’t help – with Ronaldo going from Man United to Real Madrid, Adebayor from Arsenal to Man City, and Magrahi from Scotland to Libya. The latter was a man hated in the UK who was greeted with a hero’s welcome and Scottish flags in Libya. Gordon Brown’s already booked his ticket.
The BBC's attempt to give the BNP an equal platform goes too far with the unveiling of the new Children in Need mascot
Into the political vacuum stepped the BNP. And anti-sleazer Esther Rantsen. The two of them made an electoral pact, with all funny looking vegetables to be sent back where they came from. I didn’t fall for the charms of the BNP despite the free sew-on yellow star they sent me, but the BBC got into all sorts of trouble inviting their leader onto Question Time. 8 million viewers watched the show. Though if you ask me the actual figure was closer to 50,000. Yes, I’m a viewing figures denier.
Other highlights? The Iran election was exposed as clearly rigged when the winner turned out to be dance group Diversity and questionable gender athlete Caster Semenya allowed us to make jokes about her at least having the balls to compete. Financier Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years – which with bonuses could net him up to 240, and the Royal Mail strike started in chaos – they should have known better than to put it to a vote by postal ballot. At one point, NASA even bombed the moon, though if it brings about regime change I’m all for it.
Thank you, the Internet. You've made me laugh.
I feel I should thank those who’ve provided the most jokes for me this year: Kanye West (I spent many happy hours starting Kanye tracks on my ipod then interrupting them. That showed him), Swine Flu (technically just a Mexican wave in virus form) and golf’s Tiger Woods, whose discrediting meant that there’s now a chance for someone else to become the World No.1 adulterer. How glad I was that my website was up and running by then so I could make the most of his advent calendar, with a new mistress revealed every day during December (that gag and more here).
And then there was Susan Boyle – who can forget their absolute amazement that first time they witnessed her clearly fancying Piers Morgan (no-one should be allowed to compete if they’re that damaged) – and the X-factor. I loved the whole Rage Against the Machine for Xmas No.1 thing, though true RATM fans were disappointed by the new line-up of Leona Lewis, Louis Walsh and that old bloke who did breakdancing on Britain’s Got Talent (that and more here). The Christmas number 1 campaign may have succeeded, but sadly I suspect my own campaign to get Rage Against the Machine to replace Auld Lang Syne at New Year is destined to fail.
Growing concern over Santa's new present delivery system for 2010
For me personally, it’s been the year I lost it to the web (more favourite pics here, videos here). In particular, it was the year I abandoned older social networking crazes such as my family and friends for Twitter (I was present at the first Twitter birth – the baby weighing in at 140 characters or less). Through Twitter I met some nice people (possibly the blandest 7 words I’ve ever written) and was able to vent jokespleen on the world, my life and my teenage daughters (the eldest has now worryingly fallen in with public school boys. I told her those boys are only after one thing: 10 A*s at GCSE).
So whether it’s your first visit or you’ve been lurking round my website like a hooded youth outside McDonalds, thank you for reading my blog(s) and feeding my embarrassingly needy ego. Have a great New Year – here’s hoping 2010 is very much your bitch.
With thanks to doodledawne.com for the grim reaper pic and @stanandollie for Neo-Pudsey and so many other great pics he’s done for me this year.
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Happy New Year! Should Tweet that, really…
Love it. Happy New Year David.. my new year’s resolutions are to read your blogs more thoroughly and smoke more cigarettes.
Awesome post, this really helps a lot, thanks for sharing. cheers.
God bless MJ.. He trully changed the world..