Britain’s Got Racists

The judges (all white) lap up the Croydon Tram routine

Racist ranting: it’s the new craze that’s sweeping the nation. You can even get £250 if you send in a video to the BBC and it gets used on You’ve Been Racially Abused. I’ve just seen the “Second Racist Rant” (I’ve posted it below) and it’s absolutely shocking, especially if you’ve seen the first racist rant (the one on the tram). I mean, where’s the kid on her lap? She’s a complete amateur!

I would link to the first racist rant but I couldn’t find a version that had the little boy’s face blanked out as he sits there on Racist Mummy’s lap (Racist Mummies are of course the new Yummy Mummies). Feel free to find the link yourself, thus exonerating me from any guilt at exposing the boy’s face, although, if I’m honest, having his face blanked out would only be partially to protect his identity. It would also, I think, add to the drama of the video as you could then imagine that the little boy might be black or mixed-race, which gives the whole rant a far more interesting backstory.

Ranter and race-unspecific son

The one big downside about blurring the boy’s face is that it risks drawing attention away from the tweed cap he’s holding. This, to me, is the essence of the video. What does the tweed cap mean? Surely it’s one thing to corrupt your child with your poisonous, nauseating views on racism and a belief that all black people come from Nicaragua (or N-wordagua, as we should refer to it) but to buy him a tweed cap?! To me, that’s unforgivable, that’s a call to social services right there. The last thing we want is for this country to be flooded by tweed-cap wearing children. It’s my f*ckin’ country! Get your tweed caps out of here!

Anyway, the good news is that after each of these rants, Sepp Blatter got everyone to shake hands and they all went away smiling. After all, racism’s only a game.

Brought to you by What is This Country Coming To Productions and thefrigginloon

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