Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom 14: Acharei Mos

achareimot042(Leviticus 16-18)

First of all, I must apologise for last week’s article. I personally don’t feel I need to, but our glorious comrade leader Herr Editor feels I “must”. So I’m very sorry if some of the things I wrote may have been interpreted as offensive and distasteful by certain empty-headed, easily offended, dimwitted morons who like to read the JC while eating and found that reading about a harmless, hideous, leprous-like skin disease which is making my life a living gehenem put them off some extortionately expensive pastry that’s probably full of seafood and sweetened with concentrated pig.

There. A full and frank apology. Happy now?

On then to this week’s parsha, (more…)

Friday Night Armistice episode 1

First there was Saturday Night Armistice, then came Friday Night Armistice – being earlier and funnier by 24 hours. This is the first episode of that series from 1996. There were jokes about Ulster and football and a Tory government (so some of those may well come in useful). There was also a very young Al Murray and Sue Perkins.

Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom 15: Kedoshim

moses_prayer419x600

(Leviticus 19-20)

When Hillel was asked to sum up the Torah whilst standing on one foot, he famously replied: “That’s not a good idea. I’ve got a veruka”.

I’m joking, of course. (Top tip for budding rabbis: always start a sermon with a joke, even if you risk implying that hygiene standards in mikvahs of the Talmudic period were dangerously low). (more…)

The Friday Night Armistice: Iraq

Some funny gags here, but mainly interesting to see just how much things have changed and to play Spot the Omid Djalili…

The Friday Night Armistice: Euro-invasion

The Armistice on Europe, back in 1996. Still topical? I think so…

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