“Ugly Man”

uglyman

I got a phone call from my agent a couple of days ago. That’s always a good thing for an actor but this phone call was particularly good. Would I like to audition for a nice little cameo in a major feature film to be directed by one of the most famous directors in the world? It was, as they say, a no-brainer. One small drawback: the part I would be auditioning for was called “Ugly Man”. (more…)

The unkindest cut of all

According to the internet this is a DIY Circumcision kit...

According to the internet this is a DIY Circumcision kit...

I have a Jewish friend who’s so assimilated he’s joined a church and even had himself  baptized. This might be to do with getting his daughters into the local church school (I’m sure St Paul only converted because there was an excellent C of E primary just off the road to Damascus), but you have to admire his commitment. Nevertheless, when his first son came along, even this hardcore convert to school-league-table Christianity had him circumcised. (more…)

Book Review: Michael Simkins “Fatty Batter”

fatty batter Fatty Batter: How Cricket Saved My Life (Then Ruined It)

Is there any sport which divides people as much as cricket? There are those who don’t understand it and don’t care; then there are those who do understand it and still don’t care; and then there are those who see the whole of life through leather-on-willow coloured spectacles. Cricket is not just a game, it’s the Ultimate Metaphor. A friend of mine told me the problem with the Middle East peace process is that everyone’s bowling left arm over the wicket. So that’s that sorted then. He recently got divorced, or, as he put it, he recently “declared on 17 for 2”. That’s 17 years and two children. It’s a miracle his wife has never gave him a taste of his own medicine and hit him for 6 (months in intensive care). (more…)

Backstage trauma

Someone took a picture of that night my dream went wrong…

dreamwrong

(with thanks @SaliWho, @Skinbro, images.slashdot.org)

Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom (with Rabbi David Schneider)

Rabbi David SchneiderWelcome to my Weekly Words of Wisdom (With Rabbi David Schneider). These weekly commentaries on the Torah portion of the week were originally published in The Jewish Chronicle (may its name be blotted out)  as a thorough if not the thoroughest commentary on our annual Torah cycle since Rashi nearly 1000 years ago or the film The Ten Commandments. Unfortunately, because of events beyond my control that I can’t go into for legal reasons but look up “ex-wife” “Rabbi Schneider” and “philandering harlot of sinfulness” on Google, I was unable to finish them.

Still here’s half a year’s worth. Definitely best if you read them in order. Hope they edify and educate you as much as I know they will if you’ve got half a brain cell.

Yours,

Rabbi David Schneider

(Jewish chaplain to the Somali pirate fleet).

Check out Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom (With Rabbi David Schneider) here.

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