Futureman. Is that a Jewish name?

Here’s a thing I wrote for the Jewish Quarterly.

Congratulate me. I’ve just written a whole sheet of A4 by pen. After years of computercentricity it felt weird, foreign, as unwelcome a throwback to the 1980s as news that The Tweets have reformed so we can hear the “Birdie Song” live again (ah, “The Tweets”. Now there’s a name that finally has meaning in this social network age). As I heaved the pen clumsily across the paper, sweat pouring from my brow, Repetitive Strain Injury gathering in my freaked-out forearm, I felt like a man trying to plough a field with a… well, with a pen. (more…)

5 Terms in English Slang Everyone Should Know

Here’s a thing I did with Canadian internet genius TremendousNews (not his real name). (more…)

X(mas)-Factor

You have to hand it to Simon Cowell. In a bid to outwit the campaign against an X-Factor Christmas No.1, he’s announced that this year’s winner’s song will be a version of “Killing in the Name” by Rage Against the Machine. Thus he wins. (more…)

Stop! (Joke) Thief!

Here’s a thing I just wrote for the Sunday Times. For a list of nicked jokes (allegedly) and some interesting youtubery, click here:

Stand-up comedians abhor the same crimes as everyone else: murder, assault, the fact that John and Edward are still in the X-Factor. But if there’s one crime that riles them above all others, it’s joke theft. The latest victim of comedic light-fingers is stand-up comic Gary Delaney. He’d noticed that several of his previously sure-fire gags were floundering as badly as Gordon Brown in the polls. A quick check on Google revealed that 34 of his jokes had been posted uncredited on the website Sickipedia.org, a sort of virtual multi-storey car-park for un-PC one-liners and dodgy gags. (more…)

Nicked Jokes. Allegedly.

Here’s a list of some specific joke spats to go with my Sunday Times article on joke thievery – with the odd youtube link that’s definitely worth watching. I have to thank Twitter for helping me locate a lot of these… Also, there’s one juicy possible joke-theft I haven’t included here. But will blog about that imminently… (more…)