Jew travels to Germany shock

German jew

Here’s a thing I wrote about 10 years ago after my first trip to Deutschland…

I have recently returned from making a film in Germany. It was a significant event for me, not just because the script was wonderful, my fellow actors were marvellous and all those other well-known Paltrowisms. It was significant because the film was shot in Germany and I am – well, there’s no other way to say it – I’m Jewish. A Jew. Ein Jude. (more…)

“Ugly Man”

uglyman

I got a phone call from my agent a couple of days ago. That’s always a good thing for an actor but this phone call was particularly good. Would I like to audition for a nice little cameo in a major feature film to be directed by one of the most famous directors in the world? It was, as they say, a no-brainer. One small drawback: the part I would be auditioning for was called “Ugly Man”. (more…)

The unkindest cut of all

According to the internet this is a DIY Circumcision kit...

According to the internet this is a DIY Circumcision kit...

I have a Jewish friend who’s so assimilated he’s joined a church and even had himself  baptized. This might be to do with getting his daughters into the local church school (I’m sure St Paul only converted because there was an excellent C of E primary just off the road to Damascus), but you have to admire his commitment. Nevertheless, when his first son came along, even this hardcore convert to school-league-table Christianity had him circumcised. (more…)

Naked

davebodybuilderImagine being told you can have that job you’ve always wanted, but on one condition: you have to go naked. Unlikely to happen if you’re, say, a dentist, or even one of Sir Alan’s hopefuls in “The Apprentice” (unless the viewing figures drop drastically), but as an actor, that’s more or less what I’ve just been told. (more…)

Lee Hurst loses it

Lee HurstHeading out to Docklands to meet comedian Lee Hurst in his local café, I’m nervous. It’s not so much the thought of witnessing a drive-by shooting or picking my way through a heap of grieving bankers, it’s the fact that I’m running a bit late and I don’t have his mobile number.

I needn’t have worried. (more…)

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