The unkindest cut of all

According to the internet this is a DIY Circumcision kit...

According to the internet this is a DIY Circumcision kit...

I have a Jewish friend who’s so assimilated he’s joined a church and even had himself  baptized. This might be to do with getting his daughters into the local church school (I’m sure St Paul only converted because there was an excellent C of E primary just off the road to Damascus), but you have to admire his commitment. Nevertheless, when his first son came along, even this hardcore convert to school-league-table Christianity had him circumcised. (more…)

Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom (with Rabbi David Schneider)

Rabbi David SchneiderWelcome to my Weekly Words of Wisdom (With Rabbi David Schneider). These weekly commentaries on the Torah portion of the week were originally published in The Jewish Chronicle (may its name be blotted out)  as a thorough if not the thoroughest commentary on our annual Torah cycle since Rashi nearly 1000 years ago or the film The Ten Commandments. Unfortunately, because of events beyond my control that I can’t go into for legal reasons but look up “ex-wife” “Rabbi Schneider” and “philandering harlot of sinfulness” on Google, I was unable to finish them.

Still here’s half a year’s worth. Definitely best if you read them in order. Hope they edify and educate you as much as I know they will if you’ve got half a brain cell.

Yours,

Rabbi David Schneider

(Jewish chaplain to the Somali pirate fleet).

Check out Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom (With Rabbi David Schneider) here.

Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom 1: Bo

(Exodus 10:1 – 13:6)

boWhat a wonderful parsha to begin these Weekly Words of Wisdom (With Rabbi David Schneider) – the parsha that tells of the last three plagues and the going out from Egypt. A new beginning for the children of Israel and, more importantly, a new beginning for the features page of the Jewish Chronicle. (more…)

Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom 2: Beshalach

(Exodus 13:17-17:16)

moses_parting_the_red_seaI want to start this week’s Weekly Words of Wisdom (With Rabbi David Schneider) by thanking everyone for the wonderful letters of praise for the column which I received last week. Obviously I can’t reply to both of them personally and Mother, when I’m ready to get back in touch with you I will, but thank you anyway. (more…)

Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom 3: Yisro

(Exodus 18-20)

yisroFirst of all, an apology. In last week’s Weekly Words of Wisdom (with Rabbi David Schneider), there was a quite literally cataclysmic error which anyone who knows me or who has ever listened spellbound to one of my sermons would know I would never commit: the word “G-d” was written without a dash. The editor has sworn it wasn’t his typesetters and I’m too good a man to call him a liar, which he obviously is, but I’d just like to remind him that G-d (note the dash) knows all, and even if He didn’t who is He more likely to believe: me or an unshaven, yarmulke-free “cultural” Jew who probably thinks naches is a dish you order in a Mexican restaurant, probably with pork? The answer is me. (more…)

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