What happens in Vegas…

Me in Vegas

Here’s a thing I wrote for The Independent

I’m not a gambling man. My poker face is about as enigmatic as a Latin American football commentator celebrating a goal, and as for slot machines, I’m with British Gas – if I want to lose a ton of money just by pushing a button I can switch on a light. Still, there’s always been part of me – the part that’s presently enjoying box-sets of the “Sopranos” – that’s envied men who play poker in smoke-filled rooms, real men with big hands who talk about boxing. Maybe I’ve been missing out? So when I was offered the chance to visit Las Vegas for the first time, I jumped at it. Could this be the making of me? (more…)

Jokes bomb

Do Islam4UK have a catch Phones4U hand mime?

This week I tweeted a couple of jokes about the extremist group Islam4UK. Did Islam4UK have a little hand gesture routine like their sister company Phones4U? And how glad I was the government had ignored the suggestion to rename them Islam 4 – UK 5. (more…)

5 Terms in English Slang Everyone Should Know

Here’s a thing I did with Canadian internet genius TremendousNews (not his real name). (more…)

The Bitterish Comedy Awards

The funniest man in Britain. And Harry Hill. (How dare I even joke about it. Harry wins)

The funniest man in Britain. And Harry Hill. (How dare I even make that joke?)

I was at the British Comedy Awards on Saturday night. Compared to other years, it was pretty mild (I was there when Julian Clary joked that he’d been fisting the chancellor Norman Lamont, a joke which led to his career being awarded to Paul O’Grady). The only real surprise was that Ryan Giggs didn’t win anything. (more…)

X(mas)-Factor

Jordward. At one point everyone was trying to get in with the twins.

Jordward. At one point everyone was trying to get in with the twins.

You have to hand it to Simon Cowell. In a bid to outwit the campaign against an X-Factor Christmas No.1, he’s announced that this year’s winner’s song will be a version of “Killing in the Name” by Rage Against the Machine. Thus he wins. (more…)

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