Schneider in honest performance shock

Springtime for Hitler. I expected similar results.

Springtime for Hitler. I expected similar results last night.

I’ve had a major breakthrough careerwise. Yesterday I showed an audience my pyjamas. It felt true, honest, edgy – though in retrospect maybe I should have washed them (they were toothpaste stains, ok?! Toothpaste!) (more…)


HolocfashionYou can just imagine the pitch meeting at Easyjet: “We’ve got this great venue for the next fashion shoot for our next in-flight magazine. It’s hip, it’s vibrant, it’s the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin”. Yes, the EasyJet Traveller magazine had photos of gorgeous models taken against the gorgeous backdrop of the gorgeous Holocaust memorial. Rumbled by the New Statesman, you have to wonder what they were thinking. (more…)


Thierry Henry in training (picture via @algernonradish)

Thierry Henry in training

Thierry Henry: “Well tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be Maradona…”

And as Thierry disappears through the smoke in front of the “Stars in Your Eyes” doors (always slightly unsettling for anyone who’s seen “The Fog”), we curse him for eliminating the Irish through cheating, yet thank him for helping create that excellent pun about people getting fed up with the whole story suffering from Thierry Ennui (more…)

Don’t make the children cry, Charlie Brooker.

Do you want to see one of these kids cry?

Do you want to see one of these kids cry?

So the nominations for the Comedy Awards are out. And Charlie Brooker gets a nom for Best Male Newcomer. Which makes total sense (apart from the “newcomer” bit). But there’s something faintly GaryGlittered about the category. There he is, a man of a certain age, and with him are his two fellow nominees, the two kids from Outnumbered: Daniel Roche and Tyger Drew-Honey (it must have been hell on the council estate with a name like that). (more…)

Stop! (Joke) Thief!

Marcus Brigstocke. He's mentioned in this article

Marcus Brigstocke. He's mentioned in this article

Here’s a thing I just wrote for the Sunday Times. For a list of nicked jokes (allegedly) and some interesting youtubery, click here:

Stand-up comedians abhor the same crimes as everyone else: murder, assault, the fact that John and Edward are still in the X-Factor. But if there’s one crime that riles them above all others, it’s joke theft. The latest victim of comedic light-fingers is stand-up comic Gary Delaney. He’d noticed that several of his previously sure-fire gags were floundering as badly as Gordon Brown in the polls. A quick check on Google revealed that 34 of his jokes had been posted uncredited on the website, a sort of virtual multi-storey car-park for un-PC one-liners and dodgy gags. (more…)

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