_MG_1647Hello. Here’s the guestbook for you to sign, let me know you’ve visited, whether you enjoyed the stay – was the bed comfortable? Breakfast OK? Did you like how the toast always taste that much nicer served in halves on those little metal racks?

Also, if you have Spotify, feel free to leave a song on the HELP SCHNEIDER LISTEN TO DECENT MUSIC playlist by CLICKING HERE. Then let me know which song you’ve left in the guestbook.

You can also CLICK HERE to tell me the FIRST RECORD I EVER BOUGHT playlist. I’d love to know. I’m strange like that.

If you need to contact me directly, please go to the CONTACT PAGE

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(23) Paul Lamb
Fri, 25 February 2011 19:22:08 +0000

Britons still left in Libya will not be airlifted until they have sat through a five hour timeshare presentation by the Foreign Office.

(22) John Garner
Mon, 21 February 2011 22:34:48 +0000

Saw you as a clown on Alan Partridge years ago, also seen you in Southwold - you have good taste in seaside towns. Read your tweets, make my whole day / week (depending on how many you tweet). Just listened to David Lynch's "I know" on YouTube, will add it to your Play list once when I've got Spotify.

(21) Joe McGuill
Mon, 14 February 2011 19:50:25 +0000

Enjoy your tweets! Added Budos Band to your list - new, tough, staten island afro soul. Enjoy.

(20) Paul Lamb
Wed, 9 February 2011 19:10:17 +0000

Apparently new studies reveal that eating junk food affects concentrat....oh look, a cute squirrel everyone!

(19) Paul Lamb
Wed, 9 February 2011 17:15:02 +0000

I`ve just seen the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified!

(18) Paul Lamb
Wed, 26 January 2011 22:37:15 +0000

It`s been a heck of a day for News International, I wonder what Rupert Murdoch makes of it all? Actually he`s livid I`ve just read his texts.

(17) Paul Lamb
Thu, 13 January 2011 21:08:10 +0000

"Conscience" The new odourless and tasteless Sarah Palin fragrance. For discerning right wing Americans, never be without your conscience

(16) Huw
Mon, 10 January 2011 20:30:44 +0000

Hi David. Have just added 'No Aphrodisiac' by the Whitlams (a splendid Australian band) to your Spotify playlist. Hope you like it, in all its maudlin, erudite beauty. I greatly enjoy your presence on Twitter. And, although it was many moons ago, I still have to laugh out loud whenever I recall your appearance as 'the illusionist' on KMKY with Alan Partridge. Ciao.

(15) Jane Robson
Mon, 7 June 2010 22:52:29 +0000

Hi David,

Love your website! I first discovered your talent when a lad at school lent me his The Day Today VHS collection, which was the good basis for a relationship! Some years later we still guffaw at its contents.

Keep up the funny work


(14) Igor Goldkind
Mon, 10 May 2010 12:31:52 +0000

David, just a quick note to say that I really enjoyed your talk on the history of Yiddish at the Oxford Chabbat the other week. My daughter (Olivia, 11) and I have been following you on TV and film for several years now; OK, she just knows you as the CBBeebies clown, but is a big fan. We're both particularly focussed on your being an explicitly British Jewish comedian/performer (you ARE Jewish, right!?), and how your performances have a cultural context to convey in contrast with the more prevalent American Jewish performers. Do you like Sarah Silverman? I know you must have looked at Lenny Bruce. With Sacha Cohen being the grandest exception, there don't seem to be many explicitly Jewish comedians on British TV. Best of luck to you in your career and I just wanted you to know you've got two fans in tow and we'll following your performances as well as your Tweets. If you're dropping by again in the future, please drop me a line and if it's not a too late school night, I'll make sure to bring Olivia along to shake your hand.



  1. Geoff Simmons says:

    Hi Dave – 1st record I bought was Johnny Ray singing Walk & Talk with my Lord (gospel) on 78rpm c’1950 (it was the B side but I didn’t know that at the time as I was only 11 years old). I’ve added The Snake and My Attorney bernie (I have the sheet music for these if you like them and have sung them at the Vortex open mike in Stoke Newington). My son and his wife run a friendship club at Woodford Liberal Shul on occasional Sunday afternoons and may contact you in the near future about doing a short light hearted programme for the visitors (‘cos I told them how wonderful you are)

  2. Scott Herndon says:

    Van Halen’s Fair Warning. Tols my Mom it was Kenny Rogers so she’d let me buy it.

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