Election Night Armistice: Posters and Sleaze Cock

Here’s a thing from the Election Night Special. It was live on BBC2 right after polling closed on the day Tony Blair swept to power. “Things could only get better” was the Labour anthem, though perhaps their initial rewrite of “Things can only get bogged down in half-reforms and a brutally unpopular war which ultimately eclipses any real achievements” would have been more appropriate.

It was only after we finished that we could actually watch the results come in and share in the euphoria (most of) the country was experiencing. I watched the Michael Portillo moment sat on a floor next to Valerie Singleton. Seems right somehow.

Uncle Max goes to the arcade

Keep a look out for the comedy snooker cue. Definite contender for comedy prop of the series. And don’t forget, kids – DVDs of Uncle Max now available in some shop or other online. Probably very cheaply.

Uncle Max goes to the Arcade from David Schneider on Vimeo.

The Day Today: Weather Compilation


Scarlet Takes a Tumble

Maybe I’m the last person to see this but I saw this today and my bladder-control became as stretched as our Armed Forces in Helmland province, to use an unforgivable metaphor (please forgive). There are edited versions on youtube but I think the tease and anticipation of this longer one pay off in the end. If you’ve got 5 minutes. And a relatively empty bladder.
Make sure of the latter…

Armando Iannucci Shows: Dinner Party

Not strictly a video of me but something I directed for The Armando Iannucci Shows that were on Channel 4 back in the day. He’s a funny guy. Could go places…

Rabbi David Schneider’s Weekly Words of Wisdom 8: Vayakhel

vayakhel2(Exodus 35:1 – 38:20)

First of all, let me make one thing clear: I am not racist. Some readers, no doubt friends of a particular “person” who’s my wife’s lover and a builder who’s a woman, felt my implying in my last column that the surname Mebolowayo-Lowenstein was a ridiculous name was outrageously racist. Mebolowayo is, of course, a perfectly acceptable surname (on its own) even if it is actually spelt Mplulmweno which looks as if someone’s spilt the Scrabble on the floor. The last thing I want is to cause offence and I want to reassure everyone, especially the editor of the JC and Jeremy, the producer of my forthcoming “Thought for the Day” on Radio 4, that I’m definitely not racist. I’m sure they think Lowenstein is a funny sounding name in Um-bongo-land or wherever. (more…)

Alan Partridge: Tony Le Mesmer and The Wheel of Death

Ah. Tony le Mesmer. He taught Derren Brown everything he knows. From “Knowing Me, Knowing You”. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of it. But traumatised when I remember that, during the dress rehearsal, one of the knives slipped out of my hands and hurtled towards Steve Coogan, nearly ending a promising career. Or two – as I’d have been banged up in jail for God knows how long screaming “It was an accident!” (he had very good lawyers).

The wheel was designed so the knives popped up from behind, making it look like they landed there. My Only Job was to throw them to one side, out of view. But knife 5 of the dress rehearsal slipped (Honestly, your honour). It landed between his hand and his head – a fantastic throw – but in the 15 hours it seemed to take to cartwheel towards him I saw both my career and his flash before me. Still, that bit was quite entertaining – he was very good in “Cock and Bull”.

Right. Got to go and have a shower now to try and get rid of that memory. Enjoy the clip.

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